We Won't Be Responsible
by TheCartoonusMaximus
Summary: The yamis have realized that their hikari counterparts are… just a little bit too cute. Luckily, they know how to solve this problem! Run, hikaris! Run!


**"We Won't Be Responsible" a 'Yu-Gi-Oh!" fanfiction story 9/26-27/2013**

**I do not own any of the characters in this story.**

**Yugi = Yugi, Atem = Yami Yugi, Ryou = Hikari Bakura, Bakura = Yami Bakura, Mariku = Hikari Marik, Malik = Yami Marik**

* * *

"Are you ready?" Malik asked, giving a sidelong glance towards his fellow yamis.

Atem frowned, gazing at the closed door they stood in front of. "I'm not so sure about this ... I mean, should we really be doing this? They're our hikaris after all!"

On either side of him, Malik and Bakura both snorted under their breaths.

Bakura turned to smirk at Atem. "Don't be a weakling, Pharaoh! Our pathetic little lights deserve much, much worse than the fate we have in store for them!"

Atem shuddered, but obliged to the will of his two comrades. Reaching out his hand, the former prince of Egypt grasped the doorknob and turned it, swinging the door open.

The door opened into Yugi's room, where Yugi, Ryou, and Mariku were sitting in a small cluster on the floor, their school books sitting in front of them.

Yugi looked up towards Atem, an innocent and foolishly trusting smile on his face. "Hi, Yami!"

Atem swallowed nervously, a sweatdrop slipping down the side of his face. He forced a smile onto his lips. "Hello, little one."

"What have you three been up to? Together?" Mariku's voice sounded very suspicious as he spoke. He knew full well that when the three very different yamis spent time together, bad things tended to occur, no matter what precautions were taken or where they were.

"Nothing, hikari!" Malik immediately replied. "We just played a three-way game of Duel Monsters in the living room ... Perfectly innocent and all ... Nobody died."

"Yet ..." Bakura muttered under his breath, just low enough that the three lights couldn't hear him.

Atem sighed, knowing that he would have to speak for all three of them, a small smile gracing his face when he realized that it would all be over soon. "Listen. The three of us have been talking – "

"About you three," Malik cut in.

" – and we've come to an agreement about something." He looked over at Bakura, who smirked and was all too eager to pick up where he'd left off.

"You see, young vessels, we've agreed that the three of you are too cute. We couldn't come to an agreement about which one of you was the cutest, though ... These two fools simply refuse to admit that my host is cuter than both of theirs put together!"

"Ummm ... what?!" A blush swept over poor Ryou's face.

Atem and Malik both scowled at the thief. "_Ryou? The cutest?! AS IF!_"

"Um, is there exactly a point to all of this?" Yugi asked.

The three yamis stopped their fighting and glanced at one another, sharing knowing smiles.

Malik decided to continue their explanation. "Well, you see, it's the fact that the three of you are so cute. Much cuter than anyone else on the face of the planet... And you know something? There is such a thing as … _too_ cute."

By this point, the yamis were all smiling evilly at their respective other halves, who were all staring up at their dark sides nervously.

"Yes," Bakura nodded. "Too cute. Cute is alright, it's perfectly acceptable for a hikari to be cute, but ... _Too_ cute? We're going to have to draw the line there. It's annoying, and there's only one way to deal with people that look like you three."

"What are you saying?" Yugi asked quietly. He could feel Ryou shrinking and lightly whimpering behind him, and Mariku was opening and closing his mouth with no sound coming out.

"Well, aibou, I suppose what we're trying to say is ..." Atem smirked cruelly. "We won't be responsible for our next actions."

With a murderous gleam in their eyes, all three yamis suddenly shot forward, pouncing on each of their hikaris.

The three lights each let out their own unique cries of fear. Yelps, shrieks, and wails filled the room as the lights were tackled and clutched at by their dark sides.

"Yami, why are you doing this?" Yugi pleaded.

"Just relax, Yugi ... it will all be over soon."

"Oh, stop crying already, yadonushi! You'll only make it worse!"

Bakura's sudden outburst only made Ryou sob harder, his clothing quickly becoming soaked with his frightened tears.

"I don't suggest you struggle, little tomb keeper."

"I'll _never_ stop!" Mariku stated, beating at his yami with his fists. No matter how much he fought though, he couldn't prevent the yami's much stronger hands from finally reaching him. "I'll go out fighting! I will never surrender to you! I will – "

Mariku's shouts were cut off by another strange sound that came out of his mouth.

He began to giggle!

Malik was tickling him!

Mariku writhed and squirmed and tried to get away from his dark side's teasing hands, but the fingers kept crawling and twitching over the bare part of his abdomen that showed out from beneath his pink shirt.

Yugi and Ryou both stared as their friend was being tickled by his yami, then they turned to stare dumbly at their own yamis.

Bakura laughed his trademark maniacal laugh as he pushed his hands beneath Ryou's striped T-shirt, rough fingers finding and tormenting the boy's soft skin. Peals of Ryou's laughter leapt into the air to be joined with Mariku's.

"Stop it, Yami!" Yugi yelped as Atem pulled off his shoes and socks.

Atem knew full well that Yugi's feet were especially ticklish, so he pulled a feather out of his pocket and lightly ran it over his little one's sensitive toes.

Yugi shrieked and fell back, giggling hysterically.

Soon, the room was filled with no sound other than the hikaris' giggling, the yamis' laughter, and the occasional plead for mercy.

It took awhile, but eventually the tickle war ceased, the hikaris now being too tired to giggle, squirm, or anything else.

Bakura smirked, pulling his 'landlord' up into a sitting position and even allowing the exhausted boy to lean on his shoulder for support. "And that is what happens when someone is just too cute, if you get my drift."

"Meanie," Ryou whispered, his lips not cooperating well enough to form any other words.

Atem put Yugi's socks and shoes back on his feet for him, letting his little one remain sprawled out on the floor. He smiled gently down at the spiky-haired teen. "I'm sorry for doing that to you, Yugi, but you see, we took a vote and I was outnumbered."

"You were just going to _tickle_ us?!" Mariku screamed in frustration, causing Malik to jump back and cover his ears. "From the way you were acting, I thought you were going to _kill_ us!"

Bakura rolled his eyes, frowning. "Don't be ridiculous. We're yamis, not monsters."

"Yamis don't hurt their hikaris," Atem added, holding Yugi protectively. He looked at Bakura and Malik pointedly. "Well, at least I don't."

"I do not harm my host, thank you very much! I'll have you know that I take very good care of my personal belongings, and they don't get much more personal than a human vessel!"

Malik openly scoffed. "Really, thief? I seem to recall that little bunny rabbit you call 'a boy' fainting from lack of food on numerous occasions. And what do you call that scar on his arm? That's not 'harming your host'?"

Bakura frowned, pulling Ryou closer as if to keep him as far away from Malik as possible. This sudden action caused Ryou to let out a small squeak, but it was scarcely heard over the bickering.

"Oh, and you're the perfect yami?" Bakura asked with a snarl. "The one that blatantly kidnapped his hikari and locked the boy away within his own body?!"

"That was months ago! I can behave myself when I want!"

"I'm sorry I said anything," Atem muttered with a sigh. The prince of Egypt then glanced over towards Bakura in almost an amused fashion. "Now, what was that you were saying about Ryou being 'cuter' than Yugi? I should think it's the other way around."

Bakura sneered, his possessive grip on his host tightening ever so slightly, causing Ryou to let out another small squeak. "Oh, get over yourself, Pharaoh! _Your_ stupid little hikari isn't even in the same _league_ as _mine_!"

Malik frowned at the king and the thief, becoming very indignant all of a sudden. "Don't be ridiculous, you two! Mariku is much, _much_ cuter than either of those two lights of yours!"

"No, my hikari is – "

"Are you blind! Obviously, _mine_ is the most adorable!"

"Yours is ugly! And his hair is stupid!"

"Like _your_ hikari doesn't have stupid hair?"

"At least _mine_ doesn't look like a girl!"

"_Who_ looks like a girl?!"

"That tears it!"

Within the span of ten seconds, the three former accomplices and allies were back to their usual favored activity: trying to kill each other.

The hikaris watched as their dark sides all began wrestling on the ground, hitting and kicking and bruising one another terribly.

"So," Mariku asked, his fuchsia eyes rolling upwards behind his disheveled, blonde hair. "I suppose everything is back to normal now, huh?"

Yugi glanced over towards the tomb keeper, nodding. "I guess so."

**The End.**


End file.
